Did the angels pull you from the cord too young?
Did you mother feel the pain?
Breathing in
The sorrow of
Your choices
I know your
Journey has
Just begun
Don’t hold on
To the earth
It lives in
Eternal renewal
Don’t lean on
The past
It breaks with
The weight
I’m not a saint
These stains
Seep into
My bones
Oh no
I’m not a saint
I just peel off
My mistakes
As I’ve grown
Who are you to spill the blood of the innocent?
Who are you to cut life to pieces?
This isn’t
Your world—
And I know you can hear!
Hear me
Know that
I have compassion
For the living
And in the living
I love with
Intensity
For all
Who live
Here
Pounding in
My heart
And I don’t pity the karma you bear
How can you let your demons tear into a beating heart?
How can you look into the terror gripping little eyes
And not drop to your knees at the sound of their cries?
I want to know…
Who are you to multiply your pain?
Who am I now that I know your name?
And call on you for answers
Because I want to understand
Call on God for answers
Because so many will never be
The same?
You broke an unwritten pact
You harmed the children of
Our human pack
And it boils in
My veins
And weeps
From my eyes
The realization of
Your demise
I live in the light
And grow beyond
My pain
Grow beyond
My mistakes
Grow beyond
This world into
The love
I was created from…
And on
And on
And on
You
No longer
Grow
In the shadows
You abandoned
Light
You chose darkness
Blinded from
Redemptive
Sight
Go ahead
And cast
Your troubles
Into the fire
And you
Will feel
The burn of
Your soul
Caught in
The flame as
You turn on
Yourself in
Your own
Despair and
Relief
Relief
Comes from
Nowhere
And no matter
Your suffering
No one here
Or you there
Will ever be
The same
The angels
Who cut
Your cord
Now give
New life to
Little ones in
Heaven who
Fought
The good fight
In love
In light
With eternal sight
You
Who are
Blind will
Never see
With your
Soul in
Damnation
Their souls
Were set
Free
In love…
No more
Terror
In love…
No more
Fear
I feel their love right here
Comforting
The living from
Beyond
They may have been young
But their heart song
Sings on as
They live on…
And on
And on
And on
They who are alive
They will always live on.
CL Dec 2012
“My father’s house has many rooms…”
This is so hard: there are rooms for murdered children of all ages, and their teachers and a mother, and for murdering children too – yes – and God in every corner of every room, since all of it is God’s boundless house…. And a room where they can all meet – and weep all together, for what went so so terribly wrong.
where ALL can meet – us too – in the Spirit… and pour out our heart’s anguish, together.
This is true. Part of how I see the afterlife is found in the book “Liberation through understanding in the between” (aka The Tibetan Book of the Dead). In the last between is where demons exist, but the truth is that the demons are really angels. It is only through our perception that we see them as demons. It is where our karma exists. We bring it about ourselves. This is why in my poem the same angel who I question “cut your cord too soon?” is the same angel that is bringing new life to those children he murdered. It is his own karma, his own choices that cause him to live in the lowest between. Do I believe that someone who murders children deserves hell? No. I believe many of them create hell for themselves. Its not that he murdered children. Its that he murdered his mother, got in her car, drove to the school, walked in and did the unthinkable. To be there there is a lot to overcome in the afterlife before you feel in your heart enough love to weep it out. Those demon angels are only a mere reflection of the reality he created. Over time, he will escape it I pray.